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Life in the country is a little different than life in the suburbs. This little story describes a true experience in the middle of April 1999, my first spring in the country. Warning: If you're a member of PETA you should probably not read this, but I do have a commentary on the whole thing.
Run, Rodent, Run!
Once upon a time in quiet hills around Snohomish there lived a gaggle of peaceful rodents.
Out in the yard, Mr. Mole and his little mole friends dug burrows in the deep grass, weakening the ground and devouring the worms. One fine morning the new human arrived, and soon, he adapted. He got a new pick-up and bought from mail order, an implement that came on a five hundred pound pallet. A being of stability most questionable, the human named his new toy the "Lawn Destroyer" and set about gleefully assembling his monstrous contraption. With a giggle he tested it on the short grass and long grass, and the nasty wicked bushes of blackberry.
The human giggled with glee as the Lawn Destroyer plowed through the thick grass, over four miles per hour in its fourth gear. It flattened Mr. Mole's burrows with hardly a pause. Mr. Mole hid in the deep grass and waited, returning at night to another dirt entrance.
On the next day, the human came home, mumbled about traffic and turned the ignition, bringing the Lawn Destroyer back unto life. Mr. Mole did not panic, his brain was too dim. Not until the roar and the dust came very close, did he flee from his burrow and run for his life, cleverly waddling through destroyed grasses, straight as an arrow and along the same path as the crazed human drove his big Lawn Destroyer. Lucky for Mr. Mole, the Destroyer was only in second gear. Though finally he hid in the deep grass, he got quite a scare.
Happy with the destruction he had wrought in his yard, the human retired into his house, but not before spraying death on some wasps, fool enough to wander into his sight. Inside he set up a few more mouse traps. Clever little Mr. Mouse that hid in the pantry didn't like the blue pellets that came from De-Con and was smart enough to hide when the human was around. But the human had traps, all covered in cheese and he set them on the floor, hoping to snap the poor sap.
As soon as the human had wandered away, Mr. Mouse ran out and seized up the cheese, too clever by far for a fifty cent trap. The human came back and looked in disgust, annoyed that the mouse was smarter than he. So he baited the trap, and went off to bed, confident of a snap in the darkness of night.
Morning came early, out in the country, at a quarter past five, the human arrived, asleep as he stumbled to the kitchen for coffee, he noticed trap was once again empty. Four letter words spilled from his lips as he stared in disgust. Then from the sink he heard a great clatter, and saw Mr. Mouse with his feet all 'a patter, stuck in the sink with no hope of escape. With an evil grin forced from lack of caffeine, the fouled tempered human launched his great scheme. The water came on, and soon it was hot. Mr. Mouse still did struggle against that great spray, but soon it was too much for his tiny form, and he slipped down the drain with a look quite forlorn. The human did giggle as he flicked on the switch, and the disposal ground up the poor tiny rodent who came in his last moment to realize at last, he could be clever, but the human laughed last.
© 1999 Geir Lanesskog, All Rights Reserved